Wierd wierd wierd

Mostly, this is just weird random stuff, so there doesn't seem to be much that can compete with buying your child this... I mean, c'mon. How absolutely odd is this? Letting your child play with Barney the purple dinosaur's excrement and urine?

Painting

I did some painting at the house. Before during and after pictures. It should be obvious, I'm not done yet.

Trunk Monkey

Karate Cat

3 D Cat Shirts

Absurd

Stupid Smart Kid

Blind

crocodile Hunter - super funny

You Tube deleted this video, NBC wasn't making any money. If they don't make any money, then no one is allowed to laugh, it's all business. Sorry. I thought they would leave this video alone. -- If you want to report any videos broken, email me.

Mexican Gas Chamber

Broad Jump

SOLD

This cabin was good to about -20 C and then it was too cold to be in any more. I liked it when I had it.

I built this cabin

another Cat Joke

All Cats are Drunks

Another @#$@# Cat

I don't work there

The Dog's Worst! Nightmare

Irish Jokes

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."


~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~


Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."


~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~


An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"


~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~~-==-~


Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

The Love of Cats

I had a cat come and visit for a month. The month lasted five. The cat was presumed fixed, when in fact she was very fertile, somewhat akin to a teenager.

She shredded my house. Her owner skipped out on the bill. My love for cats is somewhat extremely diminished to nil.

I ran over a cat last night. Not to worry, it was sleeping in the middle of the road and my tires never touched it, I wouldn't want to get any blood on my truck.

Reality TV

An interesting event

A couple in the States were out for a ride. The Cougar, probably a young inexperienced one, was hungry and saw two dogs that looked like a better meal than nothing.

The couple started to get nervous. The man got off his ass to get his rifle and the woman got her camera. The ass, or rather the mule, did what was natural for a mule to do and attacked the cat as it made it's move for the dogs.


The dogs in the back ground make me laugh.


They got so tired watching, they had to sit down.


They started off as prey for the cat and ended up as an audience to the Cat's end.

Irony was good for the dogs and bad for the cat.

A letter to The Editor

They never published the following.... I think because maybe they liked complainers:

Dear Editor:

Taxes are not my favorite subject in the world to talk about. I don’t like to pay. With that said, I cannot believe the amount of whining and sniveling I read in the ‘letters to the editor’ about how some people feel that they shouldn’t have to pay.

A few weeks back, one lady said she didn’t have to pay for road fees because she’s not only retired and on fixed income. And she takes the bus. What does the bus drive on? When she does manage to levitate over the trees to the grocery store, how does the food get to the shelves? Last I heard groceries were still trucked to the store and the food clerks had to travel by road to the grocery store. Busses drive on roads too.

Yesterday I talked with a lady who refused to be happy that personal income tax fell by 10% because hydro was being raised by 11%. So if a person were to take home 2,000 bucks a month, they are now going to me taking home 2,200 instead.

A two hundred dollar raise is something to be happy about.

If you pay a 100 bucks a month for hydro, now you get to pay 111. Do the math. Now the personal average Joe Tax Payer Citizen is ahead. We can take that extra money and buy weenies for the barbeque, throw a party or save up for a big screen TV to sit and watch other people live lives in reality shows or soaps or whatever floats your boat.

Roads cost money. Bridges cost money. Everyone wants to use the roads, but no one wants to pay.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like paying taxes, but I pay them because I’ll be arrested and thrown in jail if I don’t. But, if you constantly look at the empty half of the glass, you will always be miserable and find things to complain about even when there is nothing wrong.

Sound familiar?

Have you ever heard a Canadian like the weather? Too hot, it makes me sweat. Too chilly. It’s muggy. Too rainy. We need rain, things are too dry. Wished this rain would stop.

The only people that come out ahead with complaining is you; the newspaper guys. Filling up a paper becomes a whole lot easier with people crying in their beer, publicly, crying that the world in unfair and this isn’t good for them at all.

If it’s broke, fix it. If it costs money, spend it, but make more. Move on. Get a life. Don’t like it? Change it. Disagree? Say so, but c’mon, get off the couch and do something instead of belly aching to every passing stranger who’ll stop to listen to your moaning.

Taking a positive outlook on life can be a challenge at times, but sincerely, does crying about a raise in road tax because we have exorbitant amount of potholes accomplish anything? Does it serve any purpose at all?

Please don’t think I’m defending government. I’m not pro-government, I’m anti-complaining. I honestly don’t think that any government does a good job, but things move a long no matter who’s in office and how badly they make a mess of things. I have bigger things to worry about and more things to do, to build, change and create.

Woot woot! We get pay raise courtesy of the government that happens to be in office right now. I’m going to have a few friends over for a Barbeque and this time I’ll be able to buy beer and use real meat and everything. Get in your car and drive on over,

Quite good on Toast

But it appears I'm not the only one with a cat eating fetish.