Accidentally squashed it

Not my job

"Cleaning roadkill is not my job, painting lines is"

Not a Fluffy Day

An Honest Fortune Cookie

Too Sexy!

Dinner For Ten

Though I prefer to eat at the table instead of on a bed, but each to his own.

The darker side of animals

Blogging

When I go to log in, the mysterious Blog people tell me, "Now you can blog in Hindi" and I'm thinking, "No I can't."

This is my 101 post since I started this whackey journey. I'm not even close to done. I am actually considering starting another blog to only put writing on and then have people link to one or the other. I know that I have a few people overseas that don't speak English, so they just see something Hindi mixed with funny pictures.

I like to be multicultural, even if I don't speak all the languages.

The Wesley E. Johnston

This guy can Uni! He's a real person I know, a GREAT guy and good unicycler. Wes, You ROCK!

Saskatchewan Smart Bomb

This young chap was a Saskatchewan resident at birth, so that would make this a Saskatchewan Smart Bomb

Saskatchewan Brethren

Neck

Makes me wonder what kind of neck he has.

Saskatchewan Adventurer

This trio of young hooligans put their ingenuity to good use. Three of them (at least) because there was one running the camera in the back of the truck, one driving the truck and one on the wake board. Our Saskatchewan brethren aren't nearly as dumb as we give them credit for.

Aww Crap

Home town of Craig

Honey, I blew up the Dead Squirrel

Or perhaps it's the unique ability mankind has achieved to blow up dead animal.s

Without Testicles

This guy got fired, I'm sure. He's supposed to be VERY serious on a very serious talk show in Belgium. I don't speak the language, and I'm thinking you might not either, but the guest on the show had his testicles accidentally removed in an operation and now he's left, ummm... without testicles.

The Paper on the Fridge

I found a paper on the fridge. It reads:

WURDS OF WIS-DUMB

• "The National Museum of Photography, Film and Television is tremendously important, both in photography, television and film," -- Sir Richard Attenborough
• "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father" -- golfer Greg Norman
• "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." -- George W. Bush
  

New Age Kids

Attention all Computer Geeks

McHeart Beat

BIG Mac

The Next Generation

Red neck ona hot date

On my block

Babies

Treed Dog

When Love Ends

naughty Dawg

Running of the Bulls

This camera was found a the running of the bulls in Spain.

Bear with me

Taste The burn

**Texas** Chili Contest

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges (who were experienced judges), the reaction of the third judge is even better.

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a chili cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio city park. The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the advent: (Frank is Judge #3)



Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 -- (Frank) What the hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!


Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.



Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pie-eyed from all of the beer...



Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish, or other mild foods; not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?



Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really aggravates me that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.



Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...

Judge # 1 -- Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair! No one seems inclined to stand behind me anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.



Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild, nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili.

Kermit

Yo Dawg

Nailed

Good Dog

Hey! Wanna see my boobees?

Would you like to see my Boo bees?

uh oh

Blond DVD rewind kit

White Wedding

But why is she wearing a white dress?

Dummy

The Sun Tan

Wine Green Room

This picture is terrible. It does not reflect the deep wine tone that colour really is, so it looks like X-mas. I thought that Green and Wine would be a good combination, so I think I'm going to keep it for a while, though I think the white might be better after everything is said and done, but that is so boring. Wine and Green it is.

BAD dog

The Death of Santa Clause

28 - quite frightening

Being Eaten by a zombie is something very frightening to me. I don't know why. Being eaten by anything is terribly frightening. So the death part is bad, but the being eaten by -- well, anything, seems even more frightening. The trailer for this show was pretty awesome, extremely unamerican so I'm hoping the movie will be just as good.

Talking Pigs